From Princess to Road Trip Goddess
March, 1993-
I was born in 1939, into a family where girls/women were raised to be Princesses/Queens, not powerful, self-reliant Goddesses, nor successful female entrepreneurs. We were trained to depend on men to take care of us . I was born a sickly child with asthma and clubbed feet, so my parents were overly concerned about my health. I was over-protected and over-pampered by doting parents, never made my own decisions about what to wear, what to eat or who to date. I never went to a movie alone or a restaurant or a concert and certainly never took risks or dared to be different. I always had someone's hand to hold. I never lived alone. I never had to earn money to take care of my needs until my divorce in 1978, when I was 38 years old. I didn't realize, until later, that I had very few life skills and just as few coping skills. My life fit neatly into our family mold...go to college to find a husband, graduate with an MRS. degree, find a man who would take care of all my needs, have children, a house with white picket fence and live happily ever after.
The myth of my perfect life shattered when I was 38 and faced with divorce. My storybook life turned upside down... divorced, betrayed and pushed out of my children's lives. I was no longer a wife, no longer a mother to my 3 children. Another woman was now called "mommy" and I was out of the picture. I had lost my only identity. In order for me to survive this crisis, I had to do something dramatic to rescue myself, to re-create my self-worth, re-discover who I am...rebuild my self-esteem and reconstruct Shellie into a woman, who could survive alone, self-confidently and self-sufficiently. This personal challenge would become my lifelong vision quest, my spiritual journey into unlocking my very essence. I would be facing many dark nights of my soul, learning to forgive myself and others and never giving up hope that one day, my children and I would reunite. My spiritual journey would begin in San Diego, CA in 1993 on the road back home to NY.
March, 1993- I'm now 54 years old and preparing for an event that would change who I am forever. People thought I was crazy. “Women just don’t do this alone”. Yet, I knew I had to do this. I had to prove to myself that I am stronger than my greatest fear....the fear of being alone, being destroyed by life, with no one to take care of and no one to take care of me . I promised myself, never again will I allow fear, helplessness and dependence to control me.
6 years ago in 1987, I fled NY for CA, away from the pain and suffering of being a mother without her children, who was bullied to give up all parental rights. My life in CA wasn't working very well either. I was living a tormented life. I hadn't been successful in creating a strong, new identity. I saw myself as a failure as a wife, as a mother and lacked the skills to take care of myself on all levels. I had become another lost soul in CA. Missing my children was unbearable and I had to return to NY.
What must I do to determine my personal strengths, self-worth and personal power? I needed a huge challenge that would shatter my low self-esteem, that would transform my life in a short period of time. My challenge I chose was to embark on a solo road trip from California to New York. This experience would be one of many, 'self-improvement workshops on wheels'. I would drive 3000 miles with Muffin, my tiny shih tzu, in my Ford Ranger pick up truck and a CB radio. There would be no sleeping in hotels or motels at night. I’d be roughing it by sleeping in my Ford Ranger camper shell in public and private camp sites.
For 6 weeks before my trip began, I planned my itinerary, researched websites for information about road trips and prepared everything I’d need. I thought it would be a good idea to practice, preparing for the real deal. I lived in my camper shell and moved from my San Diego apartment. I sold my furniture, shipped personal belongings and lived on several campgrounds. I discovered I had good organizational and planning skills and I became more introspective and confident during the 6 weeks practice.
My trip to NY was an exciting journey of self-discovery, joy and fun, filled with many challenges and successes. I met great people along the way who are still my friends today. When my rear tire blew out, I flagged a state trooper for help; when my car battery was dead, I asked a semi-truck driver to charge it up and when I lost the key to my gas cap, a customer helped. There were angels up there taking good care of the princess, the new road trip goddess.
I arrived in NY 3 weeks later, feeling a strong sense of accomplishment, courageous and confident . I am no longer afraid of being alone. I know I can take care of myself. I trust myself to handle anything that comes my way. Road trips have become the access to my inner voice and my sense of self. My road trips are my 'tools for transformation', my 'self- improvement workshops on wheels'. I have since driven hundreds of thousands of miles alone, learned many, many lessons. I now travel without my dog, who has since crossed over and protects me from above.. I've driven through 40 states on solo road trips, written a book entitled, The Goddess Road Trip Manual and welcome each new adventure.
I was born in 1939, into a family where girls/women were raised to be Princesses/Queens, not powerful, self-reliant Goddesses, nor successful female entrepreneurs. We were trained to depend on men to take care of us . I was born a sickly child with asthma and clubbed feet, so my parents were overly concerned about my health. I was over-protected and over-pampered by doting parents, never made my own decisions about what to wear, what to eat or who to date. I never went to a movie alone or a restaurant or a concert and certainly never took risks or dared to be different. I always had someone's hand to hold. I never lived alone. I never had to earn money to take care of my needs until my divorce in 1978, when I was 38 years old. I didn't realize, until later, that I had very few life skills and just as few coping skills. My life fit neatly into our family mold...go to college to find a husband, graduate with an MRS. degree, find a man who would take care of all my needs, have children, a house with white picket fence and live happily ever after.
The myth of my perfect life shattered when I was 38 and faced with divorce. My storybook life turned upside down... divorced, betrayed and pushed out of my children's lives. I was no longer a wife, no longer a mother to my 3 children. Another woman was now called "mommy" and I was out of the picture. I had lost my only identity. In order for me to survive this crisis, I had to do something dramatic to rescue myself, to re-create my self-worth, re-discover who I am...rebuild my self-esteem and reconstruct Shellie into a woman, who could survive alone, self-confidently and self-sufficiently. This personal challenge would become my lifelong vision quest, my spiritual journey into unlocking my very essence. I would be facing many dark nights of my soul, learning to forgive myself and others and never giving up hope that one day, my children and I would reunite. My spiritual journey would begin in San Diego, CA in 1993 on the road back home to NY.
March, 1993- I'm now 54 years old and preparing for an event that would change who I am forever. People thought I was crazy. “Women just don’t do this alone”. Yet, I knew I had to do this. I had to prove to myself that I am stronger than my greatest fear....the fear of being alone, being destroyed by life, with no one to take care of and no one to take care of me . I promised myself, never again will I allow fear, helplessness and dependence to control me.
6 years ago in 1987, I fled NY for CA, away from the pain and suffering of being a mother without her children, who was bullied to give up all parental rights. My life in CA wasn't working very well either. I was living a tormented life. I hadn't been successful in creating a strong, new identity. I saw myself as a failure as a wife, as a mother and lacked the skills to take care of myself on all levels. I had become another lost soul in CA. Missing my children was unbearable and I had to return to NY.
What must I do to determine my personal strengths, self-worth and personal power? I needed a huge challenge that would shatter my low self-esteem, that would transform my life in a short period of time. My challenge I chose was to embark on a solo road trip from California to New York. This experience would be one of many, 'self-improvement workshops on wheels'. I would drive 3000 miles with Muffin, my tiny shih tzu, in my Ford Ranger pick up truck and a CB radio. There would be no sleeping in hotels or motels at night. I’d be roughing it by sleeping in my Ford Ranger camper shell in public and private camp sites.
For 6 weeks before my trip began, I planned my itinerary, researched websites for information about road trips and prepared everything I’d need. I thought it would be a good idea to practice, preparing for the real deal. I lived in my camper shell and moved from my San Diego apartment. I sold my furniture, shipped personal belongings and lived on several campgrounds. I discovered I had good organizational and planning skills and I became more introspective and confident during the 6 weeks practice.
My trip to NY was an exciting journey of self-discovery, joy and fun, filled with many challenges and successes. I met great people along the way who are still my friends today. When my rear tire blew out, I flagged a state trooper for help; when my car battery was dead, I asked a semi-truck driver to charge it up and when I lost the key to my gas cap, a customer helped. There were angels up there taking good care of the princess, the new road trip goddess.
I arrived in NY 3 weeks later, feeling a strong sense of accomplishment, courageous and confident . I am no longer afraid of being alone. I know I can take care of myself. I trust myself to handle anything that comes my way. Road trips have become the access to my inner voice and my sense of self. My road trips are my 'tools for transformation', my 'self- improvement workshops on wheels'. I have since driven hundreds of thousands of miles alone, learned many, many lessons. I now travel without my dog, who has since crossed over and protects me from above.. I've driven through 40 states on solo road trips, written a book entitled, The Goddess Road Trip Manual and welcome each new adventure.
